hello my dearest dearypokss!
so I have decided to put my life back on track - life has been a big mess/disorganised one the past 2 years every since uni graduation. So 2 days ago it suddenly hit me that I have to plan my life all out again and put it back on track. Or at least start with following some sort of routine. I used to think routines are stupid, so expected, not my style y'kow - i like uncertainties, i enjoy doing impromptu stuff, i thought planning the whole week/month out for example is boring - it's too..expected. but i realise my way of living is really bad - there's no growth, nothing for you to keep track on without a routine. thinking way back in primary school, there's a fixed routine everyday. and that's how i used to learn. that was how i grow. that was how i see progress.
I just wanted to have fun past 2 years, carefree, go out late every night (i used to think people who stay home during weekends are so weird), hang out with friends, laugh, refusing to give deep thoughts to where these are bringing me in life. Just taking things as they come, which is not that bad a thing actually, but still, yes although it took me this long to realise (or actually I might have realised long time ago but just refused to do anything about it) i know it is time to change this unhealthy lifestyle of mine!!
So career wise - just reflecting if this is really the right job for me. I have a marketing mentor (signed up for this program and got selected and allocated a marketing pro in the field so I'm pretty lucky!), but her thoughts are really different from mine. How do I put it..she's really realistic and focused in her own way. But sometimes I don't agree with her, but her sharing advice and her experiences with me is really valuable. She was asking me to rethink if my current job is jeopardizing my marketing career. I think it is a good experience in my current company, in terms of growing my character, and I don't mind staying on to learn more about it, but frankly I don't think I want to do this for my entire life. Maybe the next 1-2 years? But after that I am not sure where this will bring me. Maybe I can start my own business in this related field (which has always been a dream for me to have my own business) targeting smaller sort of niche market but yeah it is too early to tell now. So anyway I have been giving this quite abit of thoughts - and it is hard for my current situation in this foreign land to establish for my career without a pr. I need to try harder and be more proactive in job seeking and pathing out my career. I still can't see where I will be in 5 years. 10 years. and that is going to be a problem. that I have to overcome by focusing and finding out where my interest lies. How did you girls find out what you like? I am not sure why it is so hard for me. Maybe I am too indecisive. Maybe I can adapt too well to all sorts of fields that I can't tell what I don't like..I just grow to like everything. I need more experiences I guess to discover more about my interests but suggestions please on how I can gain all these experiences? Get involved in more events and talk more to people I guess..
Anyway, so health wise - haha as you guys realised my face condition has been really bad - thanks to late nights and binge drinking and make-up and more make up to cover up. really bad. So this is my wake up call. I know since secondary school we've all been saying yes we need to lose weight etc. but nothing actually really happened. haha. So I am going to make it happen this time - a 10 week challenge! To drop 5kgs and change my lifestyle. Pretty achievable right? Basically just avoid sugar, eat more veg and fruits. just clean eating. and I am going to run every weekend and just do simple tiny work-outs at home at night before I go to bed everyday. Suddenly wanting to change to a healthier lifestyle partly because I signed up for half marathon in Oct!! haha need to be able to run 21km and I want to run it under 3 hours. not that tough but at least this is a pretty achievable and doable goal. Makes it more real and makes me more motivated. Shall take it step by step.
And also partly because I think it is time to establish a real relationship with someone. sick of me always giving up half way or just leaving things hanging or unspoken, or maybe I have nothing real to offer/ i don't know. But I know that if I don't love myself and get things back on track how can I have enough love and care to be shared with someone else. impossible. so yes me needs to change yo!! :)
So yes just wanting to share my thoughts with you all on this..rare Saturday afternoon that I am home (I just came back from a run btw heehee) - though we don't really all talk that often everyday but you are still my most trustable, closest friends and I will always want to share with you my happiness, struggles, everything in life :) love you all!
P.S. so yes me you're welcome to check on me and give me encouragements for my 10week challenge okay pokkss haha to make sure im kept in focus! :) haha love you! xxx
